A Caregiver's Journey to Memory Care

Caregiver Resources & Support

April 18, 2025

"What I Didn't Expect": A Caregiver's Journey to Memory Care

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At Shadow Mountain Memory Care, we believe in the power of shared stories. Memory care is not just our specialty—it’s our passion. And when family members like Pat Demarest open up about their personal journey, it reminds us why we do what we do every single day.

Pat’s story is one of love, resilience, and ultimately—relief. She has walked the long, winding path of Alzheimer’s alongside her husband and made a decision that so many families wrestle with: Is it time for memory care?

“Taking care of him was well within my skill set,” she shared. “But it was relentless. 24 hours. Day after day.”

Like many caregivers, Pat felt the emotional weight of guilt and grief. The two “big Gs,” as she calls them. She feared she was abandoning him, that she was selfish for even considering placement. But caregiving had become more than a one-person job. It was exhausting. Overwhelming. And her children saw it, too. Their gentle push—*“Mom, it’s time”—*was the beginning of a new chapter.

Still, the decision wasn’t simple.

Where should he go? What would make it feel like a step forward, not a step away?

That’s when Pat turned to a professional navigator, someone who could guide her through the maze of options and help find the right fit for her husband—someone younger than most memory care residents and in need of something beyond routine puzzles and passive activities.

And then she found us.

“They play cornhole and volleyball. The entire group participates in trivia, bingo, crossword puzzles, Jeopardy. Live musicians perform three to five times a week. And dancing! He never danced before.”

At Shadow Mountain, we design programming that truly engages our residents—body, mind, and spirit. Our goal isn’t just to care for people living with Alzheimer’s and dementia—it’s to care with them, by creating meaningful moments every day.

“Can you imagine Spanish lessons for a person with dementia? They may not remember, but I now know my colors in Spanish.”

What Pat discovered was something many families don’t expect—joy. She now visits during activity time and joins right in. She sings, she dances, she laughs. She’s found a new community, one where she’s not alone, and neither is he.

“The staff members are friendly and kind. This is a lot better than I expected. He is better entertained than I could provide.”

At Shadow Mountain Memory Care, we’re honored to be part of stories like Pat’s. We know the decision to move a loved one into memory care is never easy. But it can also be a new beginning—not just for the one needing care, but for the entire family.

Thank you, Pat, for your courage to share. Your journey is an inspiration to many.

If you’re a family member standing at that same crossroads, wondering what’s next, we’re here. We’ll walk with you every step of the way. Contact us today at (480)923-7979 or shadowmountaincare.com for more information.